Attachment vs. Detachment

When we started to chase something, they run away. For example, lovers, or even money.
When i was so desperate to look for something i will just miss it out.
SO the lesson is that whenever we are desperately involved- emotionally attached to a transaction or a happening, we obstruct it. So the flip-side to the principle is.. relax a bit and "bingo"!!
an argument is the classic example. what happens when u wan someone to change their mind? will they change it? not on your life. but stop pushing them and often they come round to your way of thinking. Whenever you are desperate for something, for someone to call, for getting a strike in bowling, for your boss/lecturer/friend to show you some appreciation, you actually create an energy around you to pushes it away..

Detachment is not disinterest. It is possible to be detached and still be very determined. People who are detached and determined know that effort and excellence are ultimately rewarded. They say: " if i don't win this time, i'll win the nex time, or the time after that. "
Let say you are now study for your current math studies, you are anxious with the test and you prepare carefully. You done all the exercise and revised all the notes and practise it over and over again before the test. You arrive early for the test and you give it your best shot.
what next? you go home and you get on with your life. you enrol in extra study and plan for next test. If you score high mark, you are happy. If not, you are moving forward.
Disinterest people say:" who cares and why bother?"
Desperate people say:"if i don get high score i'll rather go jump out from this building."
when you are determined and detached. you say:" one way or another, i will get a good mark- and i don care how long it takes."
see the differences?LOL.

How you do to avoid being desperate when you are actually desperate??
It is attitude. Never get into trap saying that i need XXX to be happy. just try to RELAX. you do anything you can to make it waork, and then you tell yourself: " i dont need this to be happy. " forget it and move on, and more often than not, the results will come.

In a nutshell, on the mental and physical level, we are dealing with natural laws. Nature doesnt understand desperation. Nature seeks balance, and you cant desperate and balanced! life doesnt have to be an endless struggle. Let things flow. This is not indifference; it is not forcing things.
You can say:" i don understand how it all works!" you dont have to understand gravity either. Our challenge is work with principles- we dont have to understand them.


sound nice, isnt it? well, im not a professional to write all this of cos, just adapting some idea from a nice book i read and modify it into my situation!! so that i wont be so desperate in my studies and end up spoil it!!! of cos, it will be nice to share with all my dearest friends. *winks*