Complicated

i feel lonely tonight..
the night is so dark and silent..
i was hugging my doll in my arm..
but i no longer feel the same..
it is empty inside. yeah, EMPTY..
i feel my life is so complicated..
yet the funniest thing is i make it so complicated..
is it as people grow, they will start to make thing more and more complicated?
even a simple thing aso they cant do it?
i laugh at myself..
all the problems is caused by yourself..
wtf..

when im boring..

today a queston arose in my mind...
i was looking at myself..
wondering something..
have i ever be slim..
i think the answer is no..
since young, im always the biggest girl in the clas..
well, nothing to be proud of..
apparently, my brain size doesn't equal to my body..
because i never be the top student in a class..
what catch others attention will always by my HUGE body..
what a pathetic.
then, i start thinking, will i be slim one day later..
obviously again, it seems to be an impossible mission.. HAHAHA..
i know to get slim must have a strong determination..
and that is what i lack of. because the temptation to eat always greater than the determination..
WHY eating and sleeping is so much easier than doin exercise?
sigh....
well, just a boring post..

tragic of life

SAM is completed..
here reach the time for us to be apart.
seriously, i think i will miss you all.
especially my cute and lovely roommate and housemate.
thanks for all the memories..
i love you all.. ^.^
dear friends, i wont forget bout your existence as well..
you have painted my life with colours,
though some is bitter experience,
let forget bout it. and start a whole new life..
let remember the sweet memories ONLy..
towards kl life, i have nothing much to say..
the city life, is easily addicted..
however, the fast pace of lifestyle and busy life,
sometime let u wish for a simpler life..
so it is actually very conflicting..
but luckily im staying at ridzuan, where near sunway..
atleast sunway contribute quite some portion of memories into my pre-u life..
sigh, i hate leaving and i hate separation..
i hate to say good byes actually...
because u come by yourself,
at the end you will leave alone too..
this is the tragic of real life..

orang keji

we all know that, no one in this world is perfect.
so we must learn how to accept one's imperfect.
yet some people are born to be keji.
i don understand what is in their mind.. and i wished i could try to be them for one day
to understand what is running in their thinking..
but i think i can never understand cos im not keji anyway.. *winks~ ss-nya*
they tried so hard to obtain something that is not belong to them..
maybe i am being too lenient to them.. they are not trying.. instead they are actually demanding..
hey, who are you to demand some other people to give you something that is not even yours..you have no right to do so..
not only that, they feel others have the RIGHT to satisfy your wants and please you..
although everyone in your world are doing the same but doesnt mean every people in this world need to treat you in the same way..you are just lucky for getting such good friends!
then when their wants are not being satisfied, they started to say you are selfish, and not being a good friend. in fact you never be a friend to them. they just come to you when they NEED your help or WANT something from you.. wat a bastard.. if i give you what you want, im just being KIND..because i feel you are still my friend.. but if i refuse to do so, i have nothing wrong too.. because you arent even my friend.. i have no obligation to you..
besides, they think they are the only smartest people in this world, hahahaha.. if you really think so, then study yourself, don beg people for their own hard work and be a copy cat..
the story doesnt end here anyway..
they start to spread all the rumuors and create story on how bad are you and how selfish are you..
have you ever heard about 危言耸听? it means words spread from people are always dangerous and destructive! and this happens in real life.. never be little the power of a word, especially rumuors.
and the weird thing is that, people are usually blind and deaf.. they choose to believe in those they belive is true and beautiful. in other word, people are often cheated by words that coated with a layer of sugar and sweet promises.. they refused to trust on truth and reality which is usually ugly, bitter and painful.. until they really feel it themselves and learnt their own lesson..
congratz to you if you experience some painful memories with these kind of people because you learnt something else and you learnt it earlier than others, which means you are more mature now.
well, there are always weird stuff happened around us..
those mentioned before always get a lot of friends with them.. i never able to figure the reason behind it.. maybe all of them are just faking around together or there is some benefits that tied them together.. well, who understand those cunning mind..
you better don expect anyone who mix with them will have a clear eye and brilliant mind..
their thinking, most probably, generally have been polluted as well.. normally they will take whatever their mate say ( known as 'friend' )..
but when something bad happen, they are no longer friends... the attitude changed 180 degree immediately, amazingly fast.. you better believe..unless you wanna try it out..
however, if there is something good.. we are friend forever.. god know how long is your forever last..
this post never mean to pin point anyone.. so don feel it yourself.. ^.^

exam part 2

ugh.. i finished my econ.. so sad!!
i think it is the worst paper so far..
i hope it doesnt affect my account...
sob sob...
i will pray hard to the marker...
don be too strict and mean...
mark a bit lenient..
i know my work is a bit.. BAD..
sigh, i cant believe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
going crazyyyy..
suppose to enjoy right now, and steadily study account..
now everything spoil~~~ haihz....
forget it forget it forget it forget it forget it forget it forget it forget it...

ugh...

so boring!!! im sick with econ edi lor..
actually i just touched topic 7 and 8 ..
the rest i din touch at all lor.. how to go to exam ooo!!1
how?? how ?? how???
shit....
so scare... wu...

exam part 1

phew~ finally finish my ESL paper,
overall saying, it is not hard..
but then im not doing EXTREMELY good aso..
i spent too much time on extended essay.. cause me have no enough time to write a better letter.
just it comes out a bit easier than EXPECTED,
therefore it is said to be a bit EASIER..understand??
well, i dono where to put myself..
i WISHED to obtain a better grade,
but i scare i DREAM too much..
while i don want to BELITTLE myself as well,
as it doesnt help in building my confidence to face another papers,
so i decide not to think about it.. *i will just pray hard to god*
I HAD DONE ALL MY BEST.. *guess so*
two days holiday, then i have my math paper follow with legal at the next day..
what a burden!!! well, but it is lucky aso, because math is not a qualitative subject,
it just needs some practise only, instead of reading NOTES...so.. consider OK larr..
stop blaming...
forget the ESL, and look forward...
but legal so MANY thing to memorise... sob sob..
however, it is expected dont i?this is what called law subject..
so ACCEPT it..
okok.. i know...


p/s to jw and jany fong: Muaksss muaksss.. love u all so much...appreciate the support given. it helps, really it does.. altho i realise it quite late of time.. but it still helps for me to face the coming four papers... THANKSSSSSSSS... xD

come on..

the final exam is encroaching near..
it is just less than 24 hours away..
and i felt myself still not ready yet..
wtf, i spent my one week study leave doing nothing..
sob sob.. sad sad to think over about it..
cannot cannot..
is it too late for me now??
sigh..
actually i studied, really...
maybe not as much as those hardworking one,
but i studied with my maximum ability...
just i cant memorise the thing i studied..
what a failure.. sob..
come one girl, i know i need to think positively..
i know i can do it..
don stress up urself..