心烦。意乱。
无处可逃

3 down..

Unbelievable, i have done my third papers,
after such a hectic week, and there is one more paper to go!!!!
just another day, then officially i would declare myself free from exam!
Wooo-hooo, cant stop the excitement by just thinking about finishing the exam.
This inevitable is the toughest semester i had since i was in law school, yet it is only the second year first semester.. i cant imagine how would it be for the rest of my law school life..
would it be a little bit sweeter after a bitter start, or would it consistently to be bitter for the 2.5 remaining years...
leave the question aside, i have to do all my best for my corp law, which is the weakness of all four subject. it really make no sense at all. haihz. left about one day to go.. i have to just stuff it all to my brain...
i think this year, australia would be a little bit loner than last year, because alot of my friends are heading back to malaysia after their exam.. envy.. jealous..they are going to enjoy the food, the shopping, the weather.. and come back to this cold country again... and i would stay hibernate during the winter..

我是被你囚禁的鳥 已經忘了天有多高
如果離開你給我的小小城堡 不知還有誰能依靠

lesson learnt from masterchef

Although there is so many more readings to catch up for the next two papers,
i take out some free time and watch masterchef...
the competition basically still the same, except the part they are making pastry this week at LONDON... when the camera showing the view at london, it was so nice that i wish i could be there!!!!
watching the show, mainly is for entertainment purpose, but sometimes it could benefit me in terms of life experience (surprisingly it is not cooking tips that i learnt) and how to face failure. especially the part when the chef did their best but did not being accepted by the judge. I guess this is pretty much similar with most of process of life that im facing now. tried so hard for the assignment/exam, yet the result is disappointing sometimes.
when you are lucky to stay on the show and not being eliminated, you have to pick up yourself, learn from the mistake and start facing another challenge of the day. otherwise, you will be one step behind those who get to pick up themselves. and in real life, means eliminated by the industry... being eliminated, that is the negative way of saying it. probably the good side would be you are now free to go for where you belong... it is time to explore your real talent.. =)

过去。现在

浏览facebook时，就会看到很多sukma的照片，
那种感觉，真得很想念，曾几何时，自己会是照片里的人物，
现在的我，却只能坐在遥远的地方羡慕，并利用自己的幻想能力，
想象当时的盛况，一定很热闹吧！但是，自己现在球技已大大退步，
本来就差强人意的成绩，在没有练习的状况更加不堪设想，有种“长将后浪推前浪”的感觉，
保龄球，本来纯粹“无心插柳”的杰作，没想到，原来当中也牵扯到一些感情因素，
变成了一种心理情结...能否再续前缘，就让天决定吧~
当务之急就是把书读好，我已经渐渐的走入书呆子的圈子了，
每天，不是呆在家里，就是去考场考试，要不然就是在煲连续剧，
简单的两行字，就能summarise我现在的生活...好想出街啊！
在朋友的blog上看到diva有减价，好想买哦！唉，但是去city的路程是那么的远，
附近又没有值得一看的商店...烦闷枯燥的生活，再忍耐多一阵子，我就能脱离苦海了！
还有两张paper,torts应该还好应付，但是corporations law就没那么乐观了，只能只求多福了

原点

人说，这世上有轮回，所有的事情都有前因后果
所以，要多做好事，免得下一代承担上一代做的孽，
这是一个大圈子，我只是一个小人物，由不得我来管，
但是，我发觉，周围的东西都在围着一个圈子转，
反反复复的，兜来兜去的，到最后会发现自己又回到了原点，
以为有所进展的，原来都只是空想，我还是站在原地，
处理事情的手法还是那老办法，思想还是老古董，
以为看得多，听得多，接触的多，思想能够被开拓，
视野能够放宽点，结果，还是那古老陈旧的思想胜利了，
胜利的占有你的身心，让你永远在同一个圈圈上打转，
think outside the box 这是一句名人名言，
只有这样，你才能放开自己，往一个全新的方向迈进，
找回一个全新的自己，不被以前的回忆绑着...

first battle

Finally, done with the first paper,
kinda unbelivable that i could finish off a property law exam with close book condition, turn back the time when i was so afraid of property law because i didnt understand single thing about it and now i could actually stuff all of them in my mind and regurgitate during the exam..
i guess the question wouldnt be hard, but the questions are so long that it needs 5 hours to complete, indeed we only have 2.5 hours to complete it. wtf?
just feel kinda proud because atleast i attempted all the question within the time given, mind goes blank sometimes and lucky i move on quick enough to actually cover all the questions. kinda happy for that and that why i didnt really care about the answer. i know i would not get all of them correct though. im just happy for being able to finish off the whole paper! clap for myself. hehe..
i have said in the last post that i wish to get something higher than credit, i think i need to take it back now. haha. because i seriously think law paper isnt something that you can set target on and go for it, it just simply means do your best and wait for luck.. the higher expectation placed upon it, the higher disappointment become. why? because the law lecturer may not understand you ugly handwriting (disadvantage of written exam with time constraint) and the marker may as well not preferring your argument.. all sorts of things. <-- this could be just an excuse for me to make myself happy, i know it wasnt true. who doesnt want good grade?!
despite that, still i have to pick up myself and start preparing for constitutional law, which has relatively shorter time for revision. LOL.

爱情篇

爱情与面包，如何抉择？
爱与被爱，你选择哪个？
这个问题，不陌生吧？
以前，我会希望被爱，毕竟付出的并不是我，
很自私的想法，但是我认为我并不是那种默默付出的人，
付出了没有回报，我会选择离去，
或许，我还不了解爱的真谛吧，
或许，我还没遇到一个让我失去理智的人吧
所以，我理智性的选择了被爱，一个看起来对我有利的选择，
但是，爱情与面包的抉择来了， 聪明的会选择两个，
但是这两者，虽然看起来并不相冲，但是他们是不能共存的，
爱情与面包的选择并不是限制于工作和爱情，
它可以是一个比你强的男人 和一个比你弱的男人得比较
照理说，比你强的男人能给予你安全感和物质上所有的享受，
他能化身为你生活上的天使，几乎能帮助你解决生活上的难题，
但是人不是完美的，通常这类型的男人都是少根筋，完全不懂浪漫，
他能成为你生活中的男人，但他不是你心目中的男人，
他不懂内心世界的你，他看到的是你愿意让他看的，
他没有闲情与你玩心里游戏，他注重的是效率，能在多短时间内完成所有的任务，
他的心爱着你，但是他的心却给了他的事业，他认为，有了事业，就能给你完整的爱情，
他忘了，爱情需要的是两颗绑在一起的心，两颗频率一样跳动的心；
站在他的身边，你认为你是他的累赘，你企图增值自己，想要和他一起走，但是你偏偏不能跟随他的步伐，所以你进不了他的世界，你走的辛苦，他看了辛苦，
所以它尝试了解，但是他还是进不了你的心；
这还算爱吗?还是一个天时地利人和的杰作？
相反的，另一个男人是住在你心里的，你们的想法一致，
他能满足你的心理要求，当然这样的男人，可想而知，是把爱情放第一位的，
为了你，他愿意放弃他的所有，他认为你是他活下去的理由，
所有物质性的东西对于他而言都不重要，有了你，他也就死而无憾了，
霎那间，你觉得这个男人给的爱情太飘忽了，太危险了，
他能给你的只是现在的享乐，对未来的期望可谓是渺茫，
你开始质疑自己，这样值得吗？你敢冒这个险吗？
当然，这都是极度极端的例子，世界上还是有些人能把自己平衡的很好...
或许，这只是一种愚人自“愚”的说法，
简单的人会说，别管那么多了，想太多会把事情搞砸的，而我就是把事情搞砸得~LOL

smile for mistake

The nearer the exam is, the lazier i become
wtf is this?! last week, still kinda panicking and therefore motivated to study,
but when i have only one day left to the real paper, then every revision starting to slow down..
to a speed that i worry i might not get everything down on time.
have been attempted past year questions, then i find the lecturer are really insane,
how are they expecting us to finish so many questions in the time given.
they almost tested us on every single chapter and every single bit of details. oh my god! if i could finish the paper, probably it would be such a great achievement..lol..
finally, i stepped out from my house today, for some grocery shopping.. and amazingly, we done it within 1 hour, used to take more than that before this.. maybe due to inflation or exam stress, none of us seem to be in the mood that wanna do grocery shopping, so simply grab some vege and meat and junk then the shopping is done.
again, im at home now facing my pity comp, which i think it have been over work since my study leave start. haha.. time for a new lappie!!!! a must-buy-thing for this year... =)
**********************************************************
People did mistake...
Sometimes the mistake can be rectified,
but sometimes the mistakes just cant be reversed,
you wish you could undo the mistake or even reverse the time,
but before feeling regret, what is mistake?
what is right or wrong? there is no a defined rule to be followed when determine the right or wrong thing, all this is about perception isnt it?
therefore we are encouraged to do wrong things, because only from the wrongs, you know what is the right thing and what is you wanted the most..
dont blame yourself because done wrong thing, but be happy because you learn something that is not for you..

counting down the days

I wake up at 4pm today. wtf?!
i suppose to train myself wake up early so that i could get used to the exam timetable,
but the bed is just too warmth for me to get away from it..
the discomfort still there, but a long sweet sleep help a lot to cease the pain a little bit..
*another excuse to sleep* lol..
counting down the days, i left 3 more days for my first paper to begin, when the real war begin~!!
and seriously, i need to go out!!!
i want to spend money.. but at the same time, i need to spare some money for my sydney trip too..
*conflict* *dilemma*
sobs.. but i feel like getting myself a new jacket, new shoes, new purse, new shirts, new pants...
ahhhhhh.. the list is getting longer... but the money is never growing... desperate in need for money....
Due to desperation for money or boredom, i notice there is one scheme name infinity downline is spreading all over the facebook, which also name as facebook easy money.. i dont find it reliable though, kinda think it is a scam..you get money without doing anything and hoping that people pay without getting something in return? it is neither product or service sale, just simple a referral networking type of scheme.. some of my friends are actually involving and signed up for it.. no comment then. but still, im not a risk taker.. and that scheme wouldnt be my type. maybe a real solution for me would be start looking for a job. im hoping for a take home job!! instead of restaurant waitress (alot of my friends not having good experience though) with little pay but higher commitment and effort. haha.
anyway, still gonna wait until exam finish!! Property Law, which is the damn CLOSE-BOOK exam is coming to attack me first and im now waiting to revenge. LOL... hope my knowledge is sufficient.. actually im hoping for a higher grade than Credit, but law exam is like playing a lottery, which all depends upon luck!!! so i better just face it with 平常心~

女人的苦

终于明白到做女人真的很痛苦，
不但身体受到影响，连心情也被牵连，
真的是身心疲惫...
可恨的是，竟然还要拖这哪疲惫的身心，
如常的读书，并不能放纵自己躺在床上
头好疼，好重，
肚子也好不舒服...
天啊！为什么偏偏在这紧要关头？

下雨了

Melbourne今天下雨了
天气凉凉的，带一点寒意
窗外朦朦的，看不清在马路上行走的车子，
吃着火腿蛋治，喝着果汁，
感觉就想在度假，非常享受，
可惜，只要看看身旁那堆积如山的书本，
就把所有的遐想打入地狱，
剩下那残余的一丝丝回味，
好想出街走走，逛逛街，但是看着那少得可怜的银行户口，
和多的烦人的历年考题，加上melbourne多变的天气，
这个念头很快就被打消， 结果，还是逼自己坐在椅子上，呆在家里...
不停的告诉自己，忍一忍，很快就过去了，
还有好多好多的朋友都在默默祝福我，希望我能坚强
所以，我会努力的！
也祝所有即将面临考试的朋友好运！=）

i want to eat all my book!! HAHAHA

Another day sitting in front of the computer and reading endless of pages....
sometimes wish i could just eat the whole book..im not talking one book, but all the law books!!!
wish to go out and have a walk but the weather is so cold and make my metabolism rate slow down...soooooo sleeepy!!!! (yawn)

silly tears

I have been crying tonight.
feel a bit of silly.
Such a big girl, yet still cry over petty stuff.
wish i could ever grown up with a better mentality..
nothing is hard, you just need to cope it.
i knew about this, i just take a longer time to come to this conclusion.
I thought, second year would be slightly different,
i should be expecting heaps and heaps of stress and uncertainty during SWOT VAC,
yet i still fall back to the same low point and find them overwhelming..
feel myself is alone in the dark world. because everyone seems doing fine.. =(
don't compare, it just push you down even further...
i cant help..
but think another way, im here for a reason, and im here because im good, dont i?
prove to myself im good.

心情点滴

纠缠了那么久，终于放手了
是好？还是坏？
考试期间，正是大家拼命的时候，
我也正在拼命追....连续剧！wuaahahaha..
说起来，也真的有一点内疚...
算了，也不懂为什么，那“戏”瘾每次都来的都不是时候，
终于放假了，那瘾也跟着放假了，真的有点tmd...
曾经以为自己是把感情放第一位的，
没想到这次在感情与学业的拉扯之下，学业竟然赢了
世事难料啊！或许那只是一个堂皇的借口，真正的原因是我的心留不住
是我还没定性吧？我真的不想伤害任何人，害怕有一天我将会是那被伤害的人
但是伤害与爱情好像离不开对方，
两方之间，最低的伤害是一个人承受，要不然就是两个人都会受伤...
最近拿回了assignment的分数，真的不是很理想，是个credit，
虽然说，pass就好了，偏偏就是自己那关过不了，自我要求是不是定得太高了？
高的自己负荷不来，结果就是太大压力，让自己的生活陷入水深火热之中
所以说，有些人的自我要求虽然很高，但是自我调整的能力也蛮高，所以能够继续在社会上生存而成为强者. 这种人，是我要向他们学习的..
读完了，感觉上好像很严肃似的..Paiseh啦~ 本人并没有此意，请谅解谅解！呵~
一个令人振奋的消息是考完试后，随之而来的假期！！！ 到时就能在这寒冷的冬天里冬眠!