emotion..

i think im not mature enough in handling my own emotion.
i dono. i simply angry and without a reason.
Again, i see a deja vu in you. which happened the same last time. why the same things keep on happen? i think afterall it is my problem??
i choose not to talk to you, so that your single word will not boost up my anger once again.
maybe im stress out from the coming mid-term. i wish i could do well,breaking up my old records. i wanna throw away my bad result for last semester. perhaps, i should not be so attach. If not, the opposite effect will occur. i have tasted it for my econ common test and my account latest assignments. i should have learnt a lesson from it.
Not repeated my own mistake again and again. Just prepare as well as i can and give the best shoot at the final day.
was doing my legal revision half way, however, i find out im neither syntesizing the information nor absorbing it. im wasting my time. i couldnt understand the whole concept that i supposed to be. trying to read for a couple of time to simply memorise it. what a ironic for a legal student.
sometimes, will start to ponder, we are now fighting for result, after the result is out, what will we fight again. is our life an endless fighting journey..? why cant human be relax for most of the time and start enjoying life, instead of catching all these materiality ? just for the sake of good job prospect, high paper qualification, good reputation, etc etc..
Maybe sometimes it is good for us not to own anything. As when we owned it, we will fill with feelings of fear and scare. Fear of losing it.. and the feeling i can say is totally miserable. the worst thing that haunted you will be habits. the habits that u have been used to for a long time will now become a disease. A disease that uncureable, that only you can cure it by yourself, or replace it with another habit. what a funny routine huh..
Habits, according to mr bala, take 20 days to form a new nerve in your brain. However, to remove it, it takes a much longer time. Therefore, never ever get into a habit, which will make u suffer at the last. i have been used to be dependent on others too much. Maybe i shall learn to be independent now. You woke me up. You told me that one day you will leave, and i will be the one who left alone in this world. Hence, i need to adapt with my life alone, with myself. yea, can i?....