IM MOODY RIGHT NOW..
I WANT TO SCREAM..
I FELT IM SO IMBALANCE NOW!!!!!
I NEED TO FIND WAY TO EXPRESS MY FEELINGSSSSS!!!!!!
ARGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

possibilities

it had been a week since i came here..

a place named melbourne..

thanks to my friend,who also come from malaysia, 

they let me feel like im back to msia!! 

therefore, i don feel that weird and isolated in this land...

instead, i have a home feeling by being with them..

however, the saddest part is tat they are not at the same school with me,

which means my happy hour is going to end once we start school..

OMG.. uni life? full with imagination and expectation.. that will be wild, fun, and busy

how am i going to adapt with that kind of life..

When u are staying outside alone, then only you will start to appreciate everything in home.

when u are overwhelmed by assignments, u will be glad that there is someone to cook for u, wash laundry and toilet..

but now, u have your own freedom, at the expense of all the luxury u enjoy at home..

i wanted to be a home crabby, totally wrapped myself in my own world, the one im used to..

the irony is the world never allow such people to survive, once i become like tat , i will be eliminated from the world, because they are seeking for someone who is constantly seeking for improvement instead of someone who prefer to stay in comfort..

so comflict!! i need to go social around and know many new friends, for some this is something to be glad with, and i admit that as well, but it is seem to be so hard for me to know someone who is not even bother to know my name.. 

they love partying, but im not.. 

i don love cocktail and socialising with all the people i dono..

i love gathering with some closed friends that i know..

im shy, im not sporting either outgoing..

i will learn, because someone said, let go the old self that u used to be so that u may transfer to become the true self of u..

maybe there is just another possibilities for me to transform to become another person.. a better person..

flying

Finally i m going to leave home and further my study at another totally stranger place.
Australia is a place that i never been there before.
Well, a little bit nervous and also a little bit worry, plus a little bit excited(i guess)
Reading some of my friend's blog, they are actually already departed to the place, i wished them luck..
How will my journey be?
After so many things happen, i understand that there is no certainties in everything..
Something may seem to be fated, but changes may still happen in between..
means, there will be a lot of possibilities to happen..
It may seem to be a two person journey, but who knows it can happen to be a solo journey as well..
Valentine is coming,this year im going to celebrate it on plane,
another totally new experience for me!!!!i'm heading to a new destination..
What will happen???
i have packed some of my baggage, i found out myself everything also want to bring over there! urgh.. hate myself, and this will cause my baggage exceed the weight allowance given hahaha
Learn to have less expectation, the life will be happier.
i think this is so true.

GONG XI FA CAI

i felt my social circle has become smaller and smaller..
even i wanna ask someone to company me for new year clothes,
i had run out of idea on finding who!! OMG...
suddenly realise there is no one stand by me..
wat a sad reality..
is that true the older u grow, the lesser friend u can make???
because u have seen too much of the true colour of them.. and the true agenda?
until u don easily trust and believe them,
not only applicable to friends, sometime it can happen with your spouses, partners, and even family!!!!!!
so trust people at your own risk~
okok.. new year suppose to be a happy day.. and i should avoid all the emotional part..
BUT please don misunderstand that i m always sad,
it is just blog is the most suitable place for me to put on all the negative thoughts because in real life you can never express them well..


Today is the first day of new year,
GONG XI FA CAI everyone,
wish everyone has a prosperity year~ include me..
because i really need MONEY!!!!!!! hahaha..
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

身不由己

寄人篱下的感觉，
真的很难形容，
应该不是普通人能想象到的，
彼此不同的想法，看法，
让我觉得距离越来越远了，
你虽在我面前，但是我touch不到你的心，
明明知道不能一起，
但是你的苦苦哀求，
让我犹如身在江湖，身不由己，
好难做噢~

醒醒吧

孩子，别天真了~
别活在“应该”的世界了,
世界上是没有什么是应该的，
所有东西是要争取回来的..
另外，我也学会了，
人永远是矛盾的，
你以为你知道你要的是什麽，
但是当你得到时，才发现自己不爱你以为你要的东西~

情绪化

何谓情绪？
情绪化，可用来形容一个人情感多变，让人捉摸不定...
我想，我是情绪化的吧~
换句话说，我是不理智的，
情绪和理智，本是同根生，但是两个只能活一个，是铁一般的事实
情绪化的我，和理智的你，好听的说，就是互补长短，
不好听得说，就是不登对，两者是不能在一起的~
我恨极了自己的情绪化，处处让感情牵着鼻子跑
但是我也不爱你的事事分析，
难道你就不能有点感情吗？一定要像个机器人似的吗？

随便什么都好

新的一年来了,
我们又大了一岁,
想不认老也不行了~
但是,岁数代表思想成熟吗?
眼光又放的更远吗?
心智又改变了吗?
从倒数那天,直到今天,我都没有很兴奋的感觉,
淡了,还是惯了?
街也没出,只是窝在家里,懒懒的,
呆滞的,脑海离一片空白,
你说我懒也罢,你说我堕落也好,
无所谓...
心里面,总觉得有些事情放不下,
也许升学的手续还没办妥的关系吧~
但是,我急不来了..
人情冷暖,通常只有自己经历过,
才能细细品尝, 谁对你好,谁对你坏,
自己心里明白..
要走的,始终留不住..
就让它走吧~

无言以对

哭了,闹了,吵了,骂了,讲了,生气了,
问题,解决了吗?
不知道...

Distance

Distance is far away more scary than you expect.
anything can just change in one mind time..
love can just gone in one second..
care and passion can turn over become annoying..
sensitive can lead to cross border
what an irony..
i will shut my mouth,
close my mind and eyes..
keep the mind in peace~