who cares

Again, im unable to conrol my tears and let it fall in its own way..
i cried a lot recently, and i couldnt figure out the reason.
Econs, make me stress, is it? why?
sigh... i dono..
my tears just fall beyond my control.
i thought u could understand the stress on me,
and i wished u are the one to pull me out from this deep dark hole,
unfortunately, you don understand me..
the inner world of me...
you do not understand what kind of dilemma am i facing..
you do not understand how hard for me to stand in front of you,
to face all the pressure..
you do not tried to trigerred out the deep feeling in me,
instead you believe in what your eyes see, what your ears listened, and what you touched,
and the worst thing is you abandoned me in this world,
facing all the unknown challenge alone.
i.. no longer motivated, no longer in fighting spirit,
but im giving up..
i live because of you, and i never live for myself.
i know this well..
and now you snatch everything away..
im lost, what should i do right now?
lost...
lost in the dark world that im not familiar with..
giving up of everything i have right now,
include your love,
i pushed it away from me,
i refused to take it again..
maybe im just suitable to stay alone..
or maybe you are not belong to me..
look at you, i know you can live without me..
i know there is no difference made whether there is me or not..
and the ironic is i don like this..
my possession come against me.
i want to be the whole world of someone
but not a small piece..

emotion is scary, it influence your point of view,
it is the determinant of how you look at thing and take thing up.
yeah, i agree that im now at the "recession" phase, where everything is at its lowest peak..
that why i take thing so pesmistic and negative..
but who cares?
even if it ruins my whole life,
who cares?