a lesson

i wish i have no feelings. i even wish i m not a human.
so that i wouldn't suffer all this kind of torture.
it is torturing my soul. why love? why hate? why must they co-exist in this world?
i hate for being such a possessive girl. i hate it.
i know what is the meaning behind it. i just wan the full attention. i just wan the security.
but god never let me get it. so i have to deal with it myself.
when the times come, i feel like just bury myself in a dark world. and the knife just stabbed in to my heart. i couldn't deal it by myself. i cant!
so, it is still a lesson for me to learn. god damn it.