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Smile, is the best way to greet someone.
Smile can also bring happiness.
Smile, used to be an expression, it expressed what you feel, that is you are happy that why you are smiling.
However, smile had transformed to become one of the courtesy practice. People smile at you, you have to reply them with a smile too. Ever since, smile had evolved to become a mask. Regardless you are happy or not, the best way to avoid the pain being revealed is through smile.
I smile less nowadays. Less things could make me happy. No doubt smile could be a good protection. However, when you are hiding your wound, you are hiding yourself. I think I am hoping for some care. I want to be the spotlight in someone's life. Not everyone's. Is this too greedy huh?
I am not writing this in a depression mode. It is just a self-thought. Look at my reflection on the screen of my laptop, I cant find a reason to smile. Ivy said: don't compare. Just do what you think it is right. That's right. How others lead their life should not be the source of my depression. What I need to do now is focus on what I want.
I felt like the time has gone back to the time when I finished SPM, where everyone surround me just disappeared and left me alone. Everyone is marching forward. Some went to matriculation; Some went to A-level; Some went to College. Left me, I have to make decision where to go and where to further my studies. It is just making a choice, what so hard about it? Yet, it is constrained by so many practical factors. Financial issue is the main one, and even myself is the main barrier. Lucky to say, my appeal to JPA was successful. However, the life does not stop there. Once again, I am faced with the same situation. Have I learnt enough in the past that make me overcome now?
Okay, just another random post.