打击

提不起劲，
好想放弃，
却有一点不甘，
明明努力过，
却还是追不上，
是我付出太少？
还是我真的太落后了...

带我走

今晚真的什么也不想做，
满脑子想的就是想出街，
想疯狂，想做些自己不曾做过的东西，
考试就快要到了呢，但是今晚就是不想读书，
今晚不想成为书呆子，想出去玩，想哈哈大笑，
想要忘掉所有，想要放纵自己，想要犒赏自己，
那么多的想要，也有很多的但是，
但是...但是...但是...
我还是呆在家了，没有车，那儿也不能去，
出去，代表花钱，花时间，
可不可以不要分析那么多啊？
就随便一个人出现，然后带我逃离现在的窘境，
带我到我的天堂...

苟且偷生

原来生活上所有的琐事足以消磨你所有的精力和斗志，
曾经几时，你那高昂的斗志不再燃烧，
剩下的，只是那恰好让你过活的心态，
什么事情，变得无所谓了，
也不能做些什么，就只能罢了。
生活，就像一把刀，不断地往你身上砍，
你越挣扎，伤口就越深，鲜血淌的越快，
倒不如就别挣扎，至少还能留一口气，
就那么的一会儿，暗爽那偷回来的一分钟，
苟且偷生。

突发奇想

看惯爱情小说的，就会知道只要和你深爱的人在一起，早上起床的那一刻也可以是一种幸福。

那剧情甚至会描述早上起床的那一刻：看着他那可爱的睡容，和抚摸他那深刻的轮廓，并且轻轻的吻在他额头上，这时，他睁开眼晴，笑你的淘气，然后一手把你拥进他的臂弯，让你舒舒服服的躺着并且暗自开心，因为她和他两人相爱。

现实是，你睁开眼晴，望向睡在你身旁的他，他睡得像猪头似的，动也不动, 当你企图叫醒他时，他就喃喃自语地说：让我睡多一会儿吧，我好累！结果，你就独自在旁生闷气，他却呼呼大睡~ 起身的时候，还傻傻的问：早餐呢？你干吗摆幅臭脸？便秘吗？ （晕）

I WANT MY HOLIDAY BACK

so today is the first day of uni after a week of easter holiday, 

does the holiday ever count? I wonder.. The holiday is just stuffed with assignments. Every morning you woke up thinking, FML, I havent done the assignment and start cracking your head for the 2000-ish words! 

finally, today i get to hand in one piece of my assignment, even so, I did not feel any better, because I have another one on hand which is due next week. Yeah, stop complaint, go do it now! But sometimes I just think I deserve some nice break, a time for myself, instead spending all my time on that shitty assignment... and this semester is taking all my time. where does my time go? no idea at all. it just flee away from me without any warning, and here I left with depression and stress! 

So now, I wanted to give myself a little break -- which enable me to enjoy the privilege of being procrastinating without feeling guilty conscious. Can I not go to class tomorrow? Hate my decision of taking up international law, it is like so fcking hard.  

可恨的内疚感

我什么也不想做，但是我的内疚感快要把我揸干了
连上天也不想理我了，我自甘堕落

无题

心很乱，头很烦，
很想骂人，很想发泄，很想敲坏我的键盘，
却什么也不能做，
我不想吃东西发泄，因为我会后悔，
我现在只想静下心，专心做完我的功课

今晚那里有问题？

我很不开心，心里面感觉很压抑，
我不知道到底为了什么，只是觉得整个人很不起劲，
想笑一下，却不能，
想找他谈，谈不上两句，就闹翻了，
他，给不到我想要的，
看到他，我就讨厌，
我想怎样？我不懂。
我想要快乐。

to eat or not to eat

One of the tip of not gaining weight is STOP rewarding yourself with food. So for example, when you are done with your exam and you have done pretty good, instead of celebrating it at some nice and classy restaurant, substitute it with a pretty dress. This can apply in reversing way too, such as when you are stress and depress, stop eating junks to make you feel good.
THEORETICALLY, this is pretty much a good way to prevent gaining weight. However, in terms of enforcement, it is like MISSION IMPOSSIBLE. I am stuck with a blank document in Microsoft Word right now and I need to fill it with 2000 words and full citation. Trying to do some research, but what I get is 'sorry, no result has found'. Hence I am stuck with a blank white document! urgh, FUCK... at this very particular moment, what is in my mind is FOOD. Oh gosh, I am helpless. Looking at what is inside my cabinet, and I found Smith Thai Sweet Chilli chips. and yes, I am munching it right now... pathetic~~

Happy Sunday

I have this sudden cravings for egg tart after watching HK drama 'only you'..
but this is Australia, where am I suppose to get an egg tart?!!
I tried the one at Breadtop, not to the standard I am expecting...
So when I thought I wasn't able to fulfil my cravings, it turns out to be other way.
Today went for bowling at clayton AMF with friends, it is so cheap because you can play all you can by just paying $15.95, unlimited play from 9am to 5pm, subject to lane availability. It is AMF 1st year celebration, and I really have a feeling I was at a birthday party!! there was mascot (which I didnt get to take photo.sad!) and also lots of colorful children!!! There was also lots of children running around, it just remind me of the birthday party that I used to go when I was young, especially those held at MacDonald or KFC.

After playing, then decide to have lunch at Springvale, where I found my egg tart!! The taste was exactly the same with what I had in mind. I cant resist the temptation to bite on it while it was still hot! the crispiness of the layer with the smooth egg york filling. It is just yum~! So, I bought two, one I had it on the spot, and another one was brought home to accompany with a cup of Nescafe, which luckily I took a photo of it before it was eaten. =D

For this reason, I feel life is great! I am happy girl <3