emo-ing III

i cant sleep..
alot of things are lingering in my mind..
alot of scatter pieces are flying in my mind,
i tried to stick them together but i cant! it is too messy for me to arrange them..
evryone has their emotion and im not excluded, but i wonder why i just being so reluctant to face this world anymore.. i donwan to live with so many people, they are problems! what they know is oni creating problems.. haih, and sometimes i even hate myself for thinking too much.. think too much for those unnecessary stuff.. so back to the point, it is actually myself who make me to live suffer. hahaha.. wat a funny routine!!
i dint count days anymore. i no longer counting how many days have u been left.. but im looking forward for the days we are going to meet each other. is this a good sign? as im no more depressing and negative in this relationship? it is hard to go through.. but then if we are willing, we can right.? u asked me how much effort have i put in? 20%, 50% or 100%?? i dono wat is the exact figure, but i do treat u with all my heart, the feeling i have right now is very different from what i had last time. i can do anything for u to keep u stay with me.
i know i sound silly.. i will laugh at those people who act silly when they come to love. for example, mk, she can give all her money to her bf and she can go tattoo for it to show her love, well, honestly, i will be laughing at her and wonder why there is such a silly people in the world, cant she see that the guy is oni playing her and using her as a sex tool? but then.. if put it back to myself, when i met the one i really loved, i cant guarantee that i wont be doing the same..
that y , there are owes people to teach us, when u are laughing at others, don forget to look at urself, whether u are the same or not.. when u are pointing and blaming others, don forget there are aso four fingers to point at urself. how true could this be? sigh..
why i must have so much emotion, the more i know, the more i feel conflict..
why ? why ? why?? i end with questions again..
good night. sweet dreams.
tonight u din on9.. but nvm. we will have another chance to chat.
love u as usual.