self-motivation. In other words, SS-ing. ^.*

Hmm, actually i wanted to write something..i feel so much to write and update this blog, but too bad, everytime the lazy devil manage to pull me away!! hahaz..and sometimes i have a lot in my mind but couldnt express it out.. that y i will leave it blank.. Look at my blog, now left the only one post again and again!! i wan to get back my old post.. UGHHH!! so sad...
today is weekend!! in other words, NO school..
and i slept until 9.30(still consider early edi ho..).. hahaz..
i started my math homework, and i finished one more part of exercise!! yeah yeah..
im so happy and proud for that, but then.. flip through the text book,
i m disappointed again, it still has a long journey to go only i can finish the whole chapter!!! ugh...
cham cham cham... i tel myself need to jia you jia you lor!!!!!
besides math, i think i still have a lot of homeworks pending out there, haiyooo..
don care lar, i wanna add oil in my math o, i donwan to have a bad result again!!
for subject like english, i don care lar, those language subject, i cant help it anymore larrr,
just let it be lor.. hahaz..
Sometimes it has no point to push myself so hard, if my standard is only there.
i admit that i do feel sad and my self-confidence is being supress becos im now mixing around a group of 'genius scholar', i felt myself is the poorest among them.. in terms of public speaking, examination etc.. i felt i had become a slow learner, people had already fully understand what the lecturer taught, but then im still blur blur there without understanding a part.. i feeel so sad when i figure that out.. but then that was my previous thinking!!!!
now it is going to change, since i cant change my result, my thinking and learning ability, i will change my self-attitude!! like what i said, no point to push myself so hard if i memang cant do it. don misunderstand that im giving up or what so ever, im not!! but i accept myself for being poor, yeah, my english not good, but then so?? i will learn, learn from those who already good in english.. learn from my own mistake!!! im slow learner, so what?? as long as i will understand it at last and i can go for the exam. although i take longer time..nvm, i still learn the thing u learnt!!
i believe that sure has some part of me stronger and better from the rest.. only i cant figure it out doesnt mean im bad for everything right.. maybe im not competent in the academic part, maybe i still need to rely on somebody to guide me in doing homework, but is that mean im bad? is that mean i should be ashame with myself?? NO-NO.. i tell myself.
i should be proud of i can mix with all those clever people, because they teach me how to be strong!! teach me that there are always people who are greater than me out there, and i should always improve myself in order to catch up with their pace.. of cos there are always some stress for being a scholar, but then it makes me wanna study harder and harder!! but at the same time, it eliminates all my time to have fun and enjoy life!!! hahaz..
Im now VERY satisfied with my life, i have someone to love and love me back as well, then i believe i surely can cope with my study as long as i don give up. whatelse? oh yea!! my family.. i love them and of cos they love me!!! friends? i have lots of good frens which cant count finis by fingers!!!! ( altho i do meet some bad frens.. but they are no more important in my life so ignore!! ignore!! haha..) then, money?? hmm.. lately use quite a lot until pokkai edi, but then still enuf to survive!! (just need to cut off some cost to shopping etc.. LOL.) SO..! whatelse i wan from? No more.. im satisfied with it edi..
therefore, start from this moment onward, i will try my best for everything!!
i wanna be active in both sport and academic field, and love my baby with all my heart then treat my friends with the most sincere heart, love my parents and don disappointed them by doing all my best in my study!!! of cos.. the most important thing is that i will LOVE myself the best.. hehe..
If, really i try my best and still cant go for australia, maybe that is what god decide for me, i think i shall be still satisfy with it. As i get JPA, out of so many students, i think im consider to be the lucky one.. anyway, don think bout this 1st, it still long way to go.. now should look forward for my nuclear weapon!!!! (arggghhh, scare o!!!) >.<~ *boom boom* *dead*